And this…is why I’m a teacher

I can look back on my life and pinpoint a precise handful of teachers that have really changed my life.

8th Grade: Mr. M took this fat, scared, new kid that had just joined a big school in the middle of the school year and showed me that I had some real value in life. He was also awesome at Computer Graphics which spawned my favorite hobby.

10th Grade: Mr. D was the smartest man I’ve ever known. A retired NASA engineer who was now teaching math because, well, no one knows but I guess we all assumed he was bored. He was honest and fair, and a bit of a hardass, and he let me take Geometry and Pre-Calculus the same year because I was also bored. This man never went a year of is adult life without taking a college class, and it showed. Pure Inspiration.

12th Grade: Mr. H was another math teacher. He was a huge badass that liked to make students cry and hate him. But, they learned their shit. And they learned it well. He was a bit of a scary man, but a hell of a teacher that really really cared for his students.

College: A myriad. Dr. R was probably the biggest. His love and drive for teaching was so evident that you couldn’t help but catch the contagious disease.

But the most recent one is really not that recent at all.

Back to high school. 12th grade. Gandalf the Grey was experiencing his first semester of teaching as part of his student teaching. He was our English teacher. Thing was, even though he was a hell of an English teacher, what we remember the most is how he taught us to think.

How he helped organized a “protest” of the school’s new dress code by getting every last student to show up to school is a suit or dress. We were all so well dressed and organized that the school administration freaked out. They got scared. They had no idea what to do.

He was the Gandhi or our boarding school with ridiculous rules.  He taught me that the best way to solve a problem was not to be louder or more aggressive than it, but to be smarter than it. To out think it. To attack it from outside the box.

And…he also happened to be my best friend’s brother.

…who happened to go the following year to Korea

…where he lived for 6 years

…and where he is currently visiting back from the states.

Which brings us to last night. The night before Buddha’s birthday. We decide to goto Hongdae for a night of dancing and a little fun.

Here’s the deal folks. I like dancing. And I like girls. But I’m a shy piece of shit. I’ve danced with a few girls before at the club, but since it wasn’t blatantly obvious they were into me, I walked out the door.

Gandalf the Grey, presented with this information from The Dancing King, though it was “bullshit” and as my teacher, it was his job to teach some final lessons.

Thing is, I didn’t realize just how shy of girls I was. He would point out a girl that seemed to look my way, tell me to go dance with her, and…..and……………..and I couldn’t. It was like I was giving my first speech all over again an wondering if I would pee my pants first or faint.

This was surprising to me. To be honest, since coming to Korea I’ve been getting accustomed to succeeding at anything I decided to do and put my mind to. But girls? Wow! I had no idea how bad I was at this game.

I mean I kinda knew. I watched the movie “Friend Zone” and wondered why they didn’t pay me royalties about my life. But come on man! Just fucking say SOMETHING.

A few more drinks and I was feeling a little more confident. We went to a thriving club and danced. And danced. And danced. And fucking learned a lot.

“See that girl over there?” Gandalf the Grey  would say, “She’s dancing alone. She that guy that is dancing behind her? It really makes her uncomfortable. Go butt him out and then give her space. Save her.”

So I went over there….chickened out like….well…a Chicken at KFC…and watched as another guy did the same thing and it worked for him.

Finally Gandalf the Grey talked to a girl. Told hir he was married. Introduced me instead, and she promptly put her number in my phone. Granted I wasn’t really interested in her as much as being in awe of Gandalf the Grey’s giant balls of steel.

We went outside for some escape from the pounding music and the sauna-like sweat.

Last stop. About to go home. There are three girls across the way and we can’t remember the name of “Buddah” in Korea. Gandalf the Grey tells me to go ask. I say no because I’m a giant pussy. Gandalf the Grey jumps up.

You know those situations in life where you’re so frustrated (especially that your a teacher) because you’ve been trying and trying and trying to teach someone something and they just won’t freaking learn it? And they can? But they won’t? And you want to throw a chair across the room through the window and have it come to rest on the head of another equally frustrating student? You know those days?

Gandalf the Grey was about there! The Dancing King was about there.

Gandalf the Grey goes up. Asks them. And comes back. I’m in a mortal shame spiral at this point.

I can’t even believe that I’m as big of a douchebag and a pussy that I am.

The girls leave, I get a barrage of well deserved criticism for my lack of manly parts and the apparent breadth and depth of my womanly ones.

But…they’re not gone. They’re just eating.

And wouldn’t you know it if I wasn’t a little hungry too.

So I walked it. They chuckled…a good chuckle.

I ordered my food in Korean. They whispered.

They suddenly needed the cups that were right new to me.

I gladly gave it to them. A conversation started. Gandalf the Grey came in with his excellent Korean and talked some more.

They were so excited about my learning Korean, that she paid for my Sundae (which is curdled blood stuffed into an intestine and served with liver in case you needed to know) because she was glad that I enjoyed Korea.

Then….disaster almost broke out. The left. And…much like the pussy I was was going to let them go…..

……I got scared….

…..what can I say?…

…..what can I do?…

…..”um…uh….why don’t you come to this area more often?” I say.

Thankfully at this point Gandalf the Grey came in and saved the day. The suggestion that I wanted to learn Korean and that they wanted to learn English provided a slew of facebook contacts and telephone numbers.

Gandalf the Grey…thank you once again for being my teacher. You taught me that maybe, just maybe, I too can have balls of steel!

-HuskEric